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Best Put Downs Of All Time

author
Maria Johnson
• Saturday, 07 November, 2020
• 8 min read

A good put -down is a thing of rare beauty, something to be relished like a fine wine. You can't even pretend to be offended when somebody insults you with the right combination of artistry and wit.

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(Source: www.popsugar.com.au)

Contents

AlamyBritish Prime Minister Winston Churchill, to Lady Astor, the first female Member of Parliament, when she called him “disgustingly drunk.” Shutterstock Wikimedia CommonsComposer Ludwig van Beethoven, slapping another composer to the curb.

Adam Sandler getting reprimanded by the school principal in Billy Madison. ShutterstockComedienne and television producer Roseanne Barr, on her ex-husband Tom Arnold.

ShutterstockWriter and filmmaker Billy Wilder, while listening to an actor sing in the movie Kiss Me, Stupid. Actress and singer Britt Eland on former partner Rod Stewart.

We urge you to turn off your ad blocker for The Telegraph website so that you can continue to access our quality content in the future. Flickr / Patrick Humphries Everyone who ever loved you was wrong.

It’s been a pleasure to meet the poster child for the pro-choice movement. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

downs
(Source: www.flickr.com)

No offense, but you make me want to staple my cunt shut. You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die.

I’ll plant a mango tree in your mother’s cunt and fuck your sister in its shade. Those aren’t acne scars, those are marks from the coat hanger.

Your mother fucks for bricks, so she can build your sister a whorehouse. You were birthed out your mother’s ass because her cunt was too busy.

You’re so stupid you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel. You couldn’t organize a blowjob if you were in a Nevada brothel with a pocket full of hundred-dollar bills.

You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth. People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore.

rushing
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I’d love to stay and chat, but I’d rather have type-2 diabetes. You should put a condom on your head, because if you’re going to act like a dick you better dress like one, too.

Your face looks like it was set on fire and put out with chains. Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant.

If I wanted to commit suicide I’d climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.

If there was a single intelligent thought in your head it would have died from loneliness. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Your face is so oily that I’m surprised America hasn’t invaded yet. Your father should’ve wiped you on the sheets.

sign sharing sheet down
(Source: www.pinterest.com)

If the road were paved with dicks, your mother would walk on her ass. I want you to be the pallbearer at my funeral, so you can let me down one last time.

Don’t make me have to smack the extra chromosome out of you. You must be two people, because no single person can be that stupid.

If my dog had a face like you, I’d paint his ass and teach him to walk backwards. You look like the kind of person that buys condoms on his way to a family reunion.

People will not only remember your death, they will celebrate it. I’d offer you a shit sandwich, but I hear you don’t like bread.

This year, a preselection PMS went viral after David Cameron responded to a dig from the Labor opposition with: Judging by the hits this racked up on social media, the British public still values charisma over policy.

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(Source: www.joshloe.com)

The most satisfying examples take the form of repartee, and Churchill was primus inter pares when it came to acerbic wit. On one occasion, Churchill dealt with George Bernard Shaw in his usual way.

By admin · Published July 6, 2014 · Updated August 10, 2016 Put downs are the words spoken smartly to tackle an unpleasant situation in a firm and comfortable manner.

Put downs provide you with a way to defeat the opponent under your decision with a charming style. Even a silly smile appears on his face with that innocent response of yours.

You can use this when someone invites you for some kind of thing that you don’t find pleasant or are totally uninterested then you can use this put down to let him down. You have to be polite to keep his heart but at the same time you have to be honest.

And when some fashion psychos try to critique you with their statements about your dress, clothes you are wearing or commenting on your dressing sense. Anything awkward you might feel with their statements then you can to give them back what they deserve.

dramatics soulful strut young
(Source: www.youtube.com)

Just have a look and memorize them so that whenever you feel like getting teased or are frustrated you can make a smart remark with troubling your self much and walk away with a half smile on your face. You’re like a Happy Meal without the prize.

When you get lost in thought, do you feel like a stranger there? I’ll forever cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Any connection between my reality and yours is purely coincidental. I am looking forward to the pleasure of your company, since I haven’t had it yet.

So these were the top 10 bestputdowns that you can use with troubling or irritating strangers or the people who completely disturb your mental peace. Just make a quick smart statement from any of the given above according to the situation, and you will walk away with a sense of satisfaction and amusement.

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5 mallardlanefarms.com - https://mallardlanefarms.com/swans.htm
6 www.adoptapet.com - https://www.adoptapet.com/s/swan-adoption
7 www.birdsnow.com - https://www.birdsnow.com/swan.htm