Best Put Downs One Liners

James Lee
• Saturday, 19 December, 2020
• 8 min read

Flickr / Patrick Humphries Everyone who ever loved you was wrong. I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you.

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(Source: www.readerscave.com)


I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. It’s been a pleasure to meet the poster child for the pro-choice movement.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled. You are the result of a wet dream your mother rolled into.

You’re so ugly you make blind kids cry. A good put -down is a thing of rare beauty, something to be relished like a fine wine.

Shutterstock Wikimedia CommonsComposer Ludwig van Beethoven, slapping another composer to the curb. Adam Sandler getting reprimanded by the school principal in Billy Madison.

ShutterstockComedienne and television producer Roseanne Barr, on her ex-husband Tom Arnold. ShutterstockWriter and filmmaker Billy Wilder, while listening to an actor sing in the movie Kiss Me, Stupid.

leslie rose
(Source: www.pinterest.com)

Actress and singer Britt Eland on former partner Rod Stewart. Public Domain Winston Churchill, after being informed by Lady Astor that if she was married to him, she would have poisoned his coffee.

To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to follow us on Instagram! If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave its ass and make it walk backwards.

I've met some pricks in my time, but you my friend are a fucking cactus. I'd spray WD-40 in your mouth if I thought it would stop that awful noise you're making.

I heard a loud pop and thought you might have pulled your head out of your ass. Life is full of little disappointments, and I just added you to my list.

I could eat a can of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than yours. People like you are the reason they have to put directions on shampoo.

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(Source: www.whowhatwear.co.uk)

I may have been dropped on my head when I was a kid, but you sir were clearly flung against a wall. If you can't take a joke, I suggest you avoid mirrors.

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Maybe you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion? If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd start thinking about you.

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. I'd love to insult you, but I'm afraid I wouldn't do as well as nature did.

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh. I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

feather birds quotes
(Source: drama.uktv.co.uk)

You look like the kind of person that buys condoms on the way to a family reunion. Maybe you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too.

I can't be held responsible for what my face does when you talk. If the human body is 60% water, you're not fat, you're having a flood.

I love you so much that if our boat was sinking and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you a lot. I love the sound you make when you shut up.

People who tolerate you on a daily basis... they're the real heroes. You didn't fall from the stupid tree, you were dragged through the entire dumbass forest.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. Add some variety to your sex life...use the other hand.

dvd carr jimmy comedy channel being funny
(Source: classicdvdshop.co.uk)

The next time your mind goes blank, do all of us a favor -- turn off the sound. There are two sides to every argument, but I don't have time to listen to yours.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. My greatest fear is there is no such thing as PMS and this is really your personality.

I'm not saying she's ugly, but if she was cast as Lady Godiva, the horse would steal the show. I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have a place to put it.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

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1 www.thesaurus.com - https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/stallion
2 www.idiomsandslang.com - https://www.idiomsandslang.com/horses-idioms/
3 rachelsenglish.com - https://rachelsenglish.com/horse-idioms/
4 englishwithatwist.com - https://englishwithatwist.com/2013/08/13/10-business-idioms-using-horses/
5 idioms.thefreedictionary.com - https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/horse